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dswhite85

Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 12:03am) | Search for a member

dswhite85

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 December 1985 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1743
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About dswhite85 : United States Marine

dswhite85's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:18pm<b>Cintijaa</b> - the 12/23/2009 at 8:26pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 6:58pm<b>anthony1989</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 6:51pm<b>pshnoway</b> - the 08/31/2009 at 5:47pm<b>freudxslipped</b> - the 06/04/2009 at 12:56pm<b>Vandal</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:06pm

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dswhite85's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

#20399685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16311) - you deserved it (9867)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

#20399681
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (2238)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML

#20399412
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5736) - you deserved it (70684)

On 12/14/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by fuckmyassimcold (man) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when he suddenly grabbed my front. He said, in a sexy voice, "Is that your boob?". He had grabbed a fat roll. FML

Today, I was on a crowded bus when the woman behind me vomited. The guy next to her was a sympathy puker. So were 3 other people. There was no room to escape. FML

#20399062
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (1724)

On 12/14/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by MiscHats (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

#20398877
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27960) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32331) - you deserved it (2681)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML

#20398760
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (2038)

On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (4932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

#20398380
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21191) - you deserved it (3053)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (1821)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

#20397919
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (2153)

On 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

#20397879
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22256) - you deserved it (2285)

On 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27684) - you deserved it (7986)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (1974)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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