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dropbeatsnotbomb

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dropbeatsnotbomb

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  • Number of visits : 155
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I took my girlfriend of a year out on a date, a nice fancy dinner and a movie. After dinner, I said that I was feeling sick and just wanted to go home. I didn't have the heart to tell her that dinner was so expensive that I didn't have money for the movie. FML

#21258006
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (7616)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:32am - love - by jgboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found my son trying to comb his hair with scissors. He's the same kid who thought that if he ate toothpaste, he would never have to brush his teeth again. FML

Today, my husband injured his back badly. He's taken three percocets, because according to him, he knows the dosage better than his doctor, and is demanding that I let him drive himself to work, with no pants on. FML

#21254463
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (3361)

On 09/08/2014 at 1:56pm - health - by jkim - United States (California)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34251) - you deserved it (3644)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39032) - you deserved it (7946)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42376) - you deserved it (5211)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32228) - you deserved it (2389)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (3209)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (4992)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37908) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (33796)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (42225)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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