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dropbeatsnotbomb

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dropbeatsnotbomb
  • Town/Country : Loading....
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 April 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 102
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dropbeatsnotbomb's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (8177)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (4968)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38513) - you deserved it (4469)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

#21111720
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (3236)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30567) - you deserved it (4608)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38216) - you deserved it (3755)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57101) - you deserved it (27245)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed hysterically. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (33388)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML

#21107872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (8150)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML

#21107817
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (38977)

On 04/08/2014 at 6:04pm - misc - by not a dumbass pothead (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (4248)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my boyfriend the dentist said my blood pressure was high. He was more interested in the fact that the dentist took my blood pressure than my blood pressure being high. FML

#21095607
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (8693)

On 03/24/2014 at 10:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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