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dre9889

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dre9889

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1252
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dre9889's page activity

Visits<b>cupcakewarrior_</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:14am<b>RaVeStudios</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:31am<b>Exothermia</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 1:35am<b>MikeyKenneth</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 2:57am<b>homeboyangst</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:33pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 7:22pm

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dre9889's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22838) - you deserved it (1647)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21592) - you deserved it (7808)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

#19572377
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13146) - you deserved it (41325)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:49am - health - by authorsubmit - United States

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33686) - you deserved it (9960)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML

#19563629
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19604) - you deserved it (6161)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (51233) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (51233) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (3714)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8419) - you deserved it (54764)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

#19545026
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (2911)

On 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41921) - you deserved it (3829)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

#19313557
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (2269)

On 03/20/2012 at 11:37am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
594 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23176) - you deserved it (52948)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (2382)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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