dre9889

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dre9889

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2368
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dre9889's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:09pm<b>cupcakewarrior_</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 9:14am<b>RaVeStudios</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 10:31am<b>Exothermia</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 1:35am<b>MikeyKenneth</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 2:57am<b>homeboyangst</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 9:33pm<b>NotGabe</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 7:22pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:09am

dre9889's FML badges

Mobility

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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dre9889's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

by AnonUser464 / 01/08/2013 at 11:40am / United States / Work

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

by fionnathehuman / 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm / United States / Kids

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids

Today, I was fiddling around with the thermostat at my new place. For a laugh, I twisted the knob all the way to 40° celsius, when it snapped off. I don't have a clue how to fix it. FML

by didntknowyoucouldbreakit / 10/06/2012 at 4:29pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

by GamerTag / 10/02/2012 at 9:11am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML

by halitosis / 10/01/2012 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy