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drbolton

Offline (the 07/11/2015 at 5:25am) | Search for a member

drbolton

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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drbolton's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:30pm<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:03pm

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:14pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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drbolton's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

#21437044
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22199) - you deserved it (1750)

On 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (3698)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (3000)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32674) - you deserved it (5368)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (9835)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
102 comments

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28404) - you deserved it (3493)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML

#21379420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (3541)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

#21352876
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (5310)

On 02/09/2015 at 6:07pm - kids - by brazo667 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49782) - you deserved it (4203)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (4207)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33439) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (9505)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)



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