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drbolton

Offline (the 01/21/2016 at 4:25am) | Search for a member

drbolton

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 976
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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drbolton's page activity

Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:30pm<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:03pm

Fucked!<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:14pm

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drbolton's favorite FMLs

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

#21493785
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (8727)

On 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his penis and shocked him. FML

#21493038
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25530) - you deserved it (4733)

On 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by nnniii - United States (Washington)

Today, I made a Facebook post about my upcoming driving test. My grandpa said he knew I would succeed, prompting my idiot boyfriend to reply "For sure, she really knows how to suck seed ;)" followed by him liking his own comment. FML

#21486266
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (4391)

On 10/30/2015 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by not anymore (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

#21478134
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (5078)

On 10/10/2015 at 1:39am - misc - by iskalion (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

#21464495
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (1612)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (4611)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML

#21458446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (2558)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm - misc - by fuck you btichass cuntshit (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25194) - you deserved it (6124)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

#21437044
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (2031)

On 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (4138)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30046) - you deserved it (3300)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35811) - you deserved it (6411)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35329) - you deserved it (11618)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)



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