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dragsdotasniper

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dragsdotasniper
  • Town/Country : Laval, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 August 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1699
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dragsdotasniper's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13663) - you deserved it (48304)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (2733)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, I had to send a picture of my Grandma at her funeral to my girlfriend, because she thought I was out cheating on her. FML

#18883322
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (4894)

On 01/22/2012 at 7:31pm - love - by Jeff G. - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

#18568615
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14248) - you deserved it (19600)

On 12/21/2011 at 7:30am - intimacy - by Nicki (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

#18561391
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15401) - you deserved it (50599)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Arizona)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (4397)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
182 comments

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

#18517273
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19572) - you deserved it (18131)

On 12/15/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (68922)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

#18403998
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51189) - you deserved it (2816)

On 12/01/2011 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by sometingwong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10927) - you deserved it (54091)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (5087)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States



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