dragon420

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Offline (the 03/26/2016 at 4:25am)

dragon420

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Manassas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 August 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 477
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dragon420's page activity

Visits<b>imeanwhynot</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:11pm<b>christmasbreak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:58am<b>letsgetweird</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:52pm<b>lovecali97</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:56pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:40am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:15am<b>cmyk</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:04pm

dragon420's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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dragon420's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

by Hormones apparently / 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while bench pressing at the gym, I noticed my spotter had spit hanging from his mouth right above me. When I tried to warn him about it, he ignored me and told me to finish the set. When the drool fell in my mouth, I was startled and dropped the 175 weights and bar on my chest. FML

by Me / 11/19/2015 at 5:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

by Hipnog / 11/07/2015 at 9:33am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 9:31am / United States / Work

Today, one of my coworkers tried to convince me to be a model for his "foot fetish parties". I politely declined, just as I had the day before, and the day before that. This will probably continue every day, since our schedules are nearly identical. FML

by kindasortayeah / 10/04/2015 at 9:26pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

by Mrs. Ned / 09/08/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 10:54am / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

by Haberdashing / 11/13/2013 at 3:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 8:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

by Kittykat900 / 05/22/2013 at 12:47pm / United Kingdom (York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.