Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dragon420

Offline (the 01/26/2016 at 8:46pm) | Search for a member

dragon420

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Manassas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 August 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 289
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dragon420's page activity

Visits<b>christmasbreak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 11:58am<b>letsgetweird</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:52pm<b>lovecali97</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:56pm<b>meghancuma</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:40am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:15am<b>cmyk</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 7:04pm

dragon420's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of dragon420's badges

dragon420's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while bench pressing at the gym, I noticed my spotter had spit hanging from his mouth right above me. When I tried to warn him about it, he ignored me and told me to finish the set. When the drool fell in my mouth, I was startled and dropped the 175 weights and bar on my chest. FML

#21494505
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (2020)

On 11/19/2015 at 5:00pm - misc - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

#21489520
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (2528)

On 11/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Hipnog (man) - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

#21487379
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29133) - you deserved it (4880)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

#21487370
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30991) - you deserved it (3912)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

#21480714
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (1665)

On 10/16/2015 at 9:31am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, one of my coworkers tried to convince me to be a model for his "foot fetish parties". I politely declined, just as I had the day before, and the day before that. This will probably continue every day, since our schedules are nearly identical. FML

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

#21466295
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26459) - you deserved it (2819)

On 09/08/2015 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Mrs. Ned - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend thinks he's discovered a big conspiracy by dentists to sell toothpaste. He's arguing that nobody needs to brush their teeth, ever, because all the "new plaque" from food will dissolve the "old plaque", and the only thing he needs to use is breath spray. FML

#21464474
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23994) - you deserved it (2297)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61211) - you deserved it (5095)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42541) - you deserved it (10504)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59408) - you deserved it (4630)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: