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dontpanic

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dontpanic
  • Town/Country : Frederick, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 May 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 3170
  • Number of comments : 395
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About dontpanic : I can get stuck in the 90's occasionally. I have a slightly problematic addiction to macaroni and cheese...I can't go a day without some sort of tomato product. I like the color pink. A lot

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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dontpanic's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

#7332045
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4734) - you deserved it (42801)

On 01/14/2010 at 12:33am - misc - by mackenzie_cain (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (2469)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22602) - you deserved it (1615)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39328) - you deserved it (3889)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (61155)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53125) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32753) - you deserved it (7441)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63827) - you deserved it (7311)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

#4445744
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (36243)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

#4425556
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9457) - you deserved it (38342)

On 08/10/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by klutz (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38666) - you deserved it (71403)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

#3848671
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31444) - you deserved it (7266)

On 07/18/2009 at 1:45am - work - by Rawf (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (84986)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

#3718923
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (40089)

On 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by Matt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

#3713033
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (2785)

On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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