dontpanic

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Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 1:35am)

dontpanic

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 May 1984 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5451
  • Number of comments : 402
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About dontpanic : I can get stuck in the 90's occasionally. I have a slightly problematic addiction to macaroni and cheese...I can't go a day without some sort of tomato product. I like the color pink. A lot

dontpanic's page activity

Visits<b>Kyleb1600</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 6:32am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:30am<b>PercyD1456</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 5:08pm<b>BonerFart</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:19am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:37pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:50am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 5:05pm<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 1:40pm<b>SullenPeak8</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:20pm<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Kvothee</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:15pm<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:56am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:23am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 11:33am<b>TheJMinster</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:03am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:58am<b>dandee_one</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:58pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:30am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:37am

dontpanic's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of dontpanic's badges

dontpanic's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

by mackenzie_cain / 01/14/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

by Smashed / 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

by grossgross / 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

by Cherie / 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2009 at 4:58am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

by klutz / 08/10/2009 at 10:34am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at work, a customer called in and asked me to read off every item on our menu, along with their ingredients. I work at Jamba Juice so that's a lot of reading. After about 10 minutes of this, I found out it was actually my stupid co-worker calling from the back phone. FML

by Rawf / 07/18/2009 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

by Matt / 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2009 at 9:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous