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donner1423

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donner1423
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7919
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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donner1423's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (561895) - you deserved it (35271)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
859 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49414) - you deserved it (598474)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61296) - you deserved it (9098)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41295) - you deserved it (228950)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

#379533
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32466) - you deserved it (151065)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

#377584
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (176641)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:02pm - misc - by natty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was rejected from the University of Washington. My dad has been a professor there for 30 years, and is on the board of admissions. FML

#366764
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (368723) - you deserved it (70017)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (617364) - you deserved it (414003)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (468395) - you deserved it (23776)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (269568)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48824) - you deserved it (300084)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49040) - you deserved it (93061)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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