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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8248) - you deserved it (156378)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40959) - you deserved it (6301)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by GrahamCracker (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, on the way to an exam I saw a car accident happen. I stopped, helped the woman who was injured and waited for the paramedics. I was to late at school, the teacher didn't buy my excuse and I failed the exam. It was an examination of my first aid skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61785) - you deserved it (2687)
On 05/19/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Sam (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (192831)
On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I accepted an internship in Chicago and finished my final exams. I decided to play some pick up basketball one last time before summer. Within 2 minutes I got undercut going for a rebound and shattered my knee cap into 3 pieces. My summer in Chicago will be spent in a full leg cast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31997) - you deserved it (2620)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - health - by FourKnees (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51819) - you deserved it (2143)
On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11112) - you deserved it (30623)
On 05/10/2009 at 6:23am - work - by chocofreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (167781)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46153) - you deserved it (6822)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76040) - you deserved it (203430)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (197943)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:21am - health - by breathalizard (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64277) - you deserved it (22210)
On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States
Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69482) - you deserved it (2858)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14118) - you deserved it (170085)
On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my friend and I wanted to get some alcohol (we're under 21). We went to a liquor store and asked a random guy to go in and buy us some vodka. After giving him $20, he said he had to go turn off his car, then he'd get us the drinks. He got in his car and drove off, with my $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11177) - you deserved it (164403)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:16am - misc - by danielle (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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