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Today, my crush finally let me drive his truck for the first time in a empty parking lot, after he told me he liked me. It was so dark that I ended up driving into and pole and totaled his car. Now he hates me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4593) - you totally deserved it (20851)
On 10/25/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by madd_dizzle (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6647) - you totally deserved it (41245)
On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22049) - you totally deserved it (1073)
On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidently elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20909) - you totally deserved it (2776)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4623) - you totally deserved it (22330)
On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14512) - you totally deserved it (38571)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8926) - you totally deserved it (36932)
On 08/05/2009 at 11:04pm - health - by dumbblonde (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you totally deserved it (2115)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:25pm - work - by caiti (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53312) - you totally deserved it (1171)
On 08/05/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom was really mad at me and I was driving her to the grocery store. As she was coming out, I decided to be a good daughter and drive right up to the door so she doesn't have to walk to the car. I ran her over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you totally deserved it (14542)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38959) - you totally deserved it (779)
On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40351) - you totally deserved it (1192)
On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58140) - you totally deserved it (11604)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5130) - you totally deserved it (101364)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
