dominos96

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dominos96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 September 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1512
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dominos96's favorite FMLs

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

by deargodthepain / 02/02/2014 at 11:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2014 at 10:43am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

by DJ / 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

by Ginger_Gawd / 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

by MommyProblems / 01/19/2014 at 12:17am / United States / Kids

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

by crap / 01/17/2014 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

by ShelterForTheHomless / 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

by spitball101 / 01/12/2014 at 12:26am / Australia / Love

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous