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dominos96

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dominos96

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 September 1993 (20 years)
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  • Number of visits : 710
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dominos96's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39776) - you deserved it (11035)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (43916)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46242) - you deserved it (6544)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34099) - you deserved it (6078)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37035) - you deserved it (6477)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43231) - you deserved it (3798)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39442) - you deserved it (4034)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (8040)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

#21043189
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42613) - you deserved it (5224)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (12479)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43675) - you deserved it (6725)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. 5ML

#21038740
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (5952)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:34pm - misc - by DJ (woman) - United States (Texas)



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