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Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets and lost my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you totally deserved it (1727)
On 11/10/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you totally deserved it (1318)
On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33997) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I tried to flirt with my girlfriend since I'm really busy and we can't always be together. I tell her online that I think she's hot and she responds "Keep talking I have to pee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18133) - you totally deserved it (3347)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today I was eating m&ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering "where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25495) - you totally deserved it (6045)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 45 minutes. I am an elevator mechanic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25394) - you totally deserved it (3559)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:02am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you totally deserved it (37762)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you totally deserved it (11734)
On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33897) - you totally deserved it (4230)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you totally deserved it (4195)
On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you totally deserved it (941)
On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36189) - you totally deserved it (15861)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52914) - you totally deserved it (1715)
On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I'm studying abroad in Russia, and I lost my keys to my dorm room. In the office I asked for a spare and she spoke really fast so I couldn't hear her. Assuming I don't speak Russian, she gets on the phone and calls maintenance saying, "There is this ugly girl about to cry... come fix it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you totally deserved it (1565)
On 07/10/2009 at 8:50am - misc - by icanunderstand (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first random girl he saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49111) - you totally deserved it (4298)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
