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dogfacehairy

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dogfacehairy

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dogfacehairy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

#15415260
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30001) - you deserved it (52055)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by fffmmll - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML

#15412642
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/21/2011 at 6:57am - health - by anti-drugs - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to move out. Excited, thinking he wanted us to move out from his mom's house, I said, "Yeah! Just you and me?" to which he smirked and replied, "No, just you." FML

#15081669
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (4576)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:27pm - love - by Shropintz (woman) - United States

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (8753)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (27047)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

#15059457
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (13221)

On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (4490)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML

#15016068
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46039) - you deserved it (5376)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

#14974628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36959) - you deserved it (6674)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm - love - by Emily (woman) - France (Auvergne)

Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML

#14974571
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (3501)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by surfergal91 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44018) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36816) - you deserved it (4303)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

#14971443
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (15222)

On 02/14/2011 at 8:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went out for pizza with my boyfriend. He loaned me his debit card and loudly announced in front of everyone that his pin code was the numerical equivalent of "Fart", and repeated it twice, just in case I hadn't heard. FML

#14969224
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (3490)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:14am - misc - by datingamoron (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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