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doehan

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doehan

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  • Number of visits : 632
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doehan's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

#334226
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56342) - you deserved it (18556)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by marsbar (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

#329882
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26711) - you deserved it (288480)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm - misc - by SwedishBozo (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (76020)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

#319539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18266) - you deserved it (189584)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:16am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170736) - you deserved it (21431)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML

#316205
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (183828)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by like - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

#315595
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132389) - you deserved it (10255)

On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking my friends dog around the neighborhood, as I was walking I noticed a little girl fall off her bike. I let go of the dog and ran over to help. The girl was ok but the dog ran into the street and got hit by a truck. FML

#298417
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66081) - you deserved it (21023)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:19am - animals - by the_dog_sitter (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33166) - you deserved it (96644)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML

#263421
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54263) - you deserved it (4207)

On 03/10/2009 at 7:03pm - health - by yodada (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70290) - you deserved it (21880)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69111) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69111) - you deserved it (2894)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

#259383
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33251) - you deserved it (56000)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:56am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

#183630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84061) - you deserved it (12328)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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