Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

doctorhook86

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

doctorhook86

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 March 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3460
  • Number of comments : 973
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About doctorhook86 : What up, creeper?

Grammar-Nazi sympathizer.

Pet Peeve: statements that end with question marks?

Send me a message! I mostly use the iPhone app though, so expect a reply within 4-6 weeks.

doctorhook86's page activity

Visits<b>MzZombicidal</b> - 14 hours ago<b>Harpy</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:41pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 11:36pm<b>JuliaaNoelle</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:59pm<b>spursunited</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:08pm<b>Pandaz7</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Crossing</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:59am<b>Badman6969</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:26am<b>lachataigne</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:35pm<b>delfins7</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 12:16pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:53am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:40am<b>LadyVoldemort666</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:51pm<b>wjsgkrbs</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 4:15pm<b>APimpNamedShane</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:45am<b>jadalahearts</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:52am<b>pondhop</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 7:31am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:44pm

doctorhook86's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of doctorhook86's badges

doctorhook86's favorite FMLs

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (11223)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75009) - you deserved it (8779)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (60952)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31468) - you deserved it (4998)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

#20087984
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32027) - you deserved it (3266)

On 09/25/2012 at 11:09am - intimacy - by supapimpin (man) - United States

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (46986)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47212) - you deserved it (4373)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was reading my girlfriend's girly magazine. There was an article stating that if a girl tells a guy his dick is the perfect size, she really means that it is too small. My girlfriend claims everything in the magazine is right. She told me my dick was the perfect size last weekend. FML

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46676) - you deserved it (157609)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46676) - you deserved it (157609)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML

#160435
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (95801)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: