Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

doctorhook86

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

doctorhook86

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 March 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3861
  • Number of comments : 1045
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About doctorhook86 : What up, creeper?

Grammar-Nazi sympathizer.

Pet Peeve: statements that end with question marks?

Send me a message! I mostly use the iPhone app though, so expect a reply within 4-6 weeks.

doctorhook86's page activity

Visits<b>klipper57</b> - yesterday at 5:39pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - yesterday at 11:20am<b>Fooflybag</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:17pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 12:43am<b>15Erik</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:10am<b>captain_crook</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:33pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:54am<b>quickit</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:03pm<b>LOUNGE_LIZARD</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 10:25am<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 3:08pm<b>Knightchaser27</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 11:31am<b>GottaLove1D</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 9:18am<b>dylanhasemann</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 2:11am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:57am<b>iLike2Teabag</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:44pm<b>FML_Fiction</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:41pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:08pm

Liked!<b>devildog562</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:43am<b>quickit</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:03am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:57am<b>turdoblast</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 2:45am<b>calvo_07</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:54pm

doctorhook86's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of doctorhook86's badges

doctorhook86's favorite FMLs

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36115) - you deserved it (4232)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (32166)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35034) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (2752)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (3981)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (5762)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50367) - you deserved it (6007)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

#21237831
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51007) - you deserved it (4916)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm - intimacy - by emmamrose7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44496) - you deserved it (13841)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52448) - you deserved it (4608)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35392) - you deserved it (11840)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35698) - you deserved it (10039)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59648) - you deserved it (5697)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45937) - you deserved it (5310)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: