Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

doctorhook86

Search for a member

doctorhook86
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Alberta,, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 March 1986 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 2472
  • Number of comments : 865
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About doctorhook86 : What up, creeper?

Grammar-Nazi sympathizer.

Pet Peeve: statements that end with question marks?

Send me a message! I mostly use the iPhone app though, so expect a reply within 4-6 weeks.

doctorhook86's last visitors

sadiegirl17mombostuckdzhonatanARUUGAjonnyBgoodeBrickTamlandLampitsalanis

doctorhook86's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of doctorhook86's badges

doctorhook86's favorite FMLs

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43096) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57301) - you deserved it (6635)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (3944)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50683) - you deserved it (2504)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got to spend all of my time scrubbing poop off the walls and carpet because my 2-year-old decided he wanted to 'paint mama a picture.' FML

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57300) - you deserved it (3818)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
101 comments

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (14695)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (58241)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57185) - you deserved it (3909)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83920) - you deserved it (5188)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56727) - you deserved it (10175)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (15290)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (53584)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: