dnlphm94

Search for a member

dnlphm94

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5744
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

dnlphm94's page activity

Visits<b>JadynHunter</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 11:43am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 8:53am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:53pm<b>larkflyre</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 11:26pm<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:05am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:57pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 3:34am<b>FizzyPoison</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>MathiasMahBrony</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 9:53pm<b>PositiveCreep</b> - the 12/05/2012 at 5:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:55pm<b></b> - the 01/10/2011 at 11:59pm<b>talun</b> - the 12/17/2010 at 9:02am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 11:51pm<b>ily1210</b> - the 01/24/2010 at 2:58pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 5:08pm

dnlphm94's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dnlphm94's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

by LovesHisHand / 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

by BFfail / 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

by OuttaNowhere81 / 05/15/2009 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

by poopedon / 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

by IBleedArbor / 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy