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dnlphm94

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dnlphm94

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4987
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dnlphm94's page activity

Visits<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:57pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 3:34am<b>FizzyPoison</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>MathiasMahBrony</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 9:53pm<b>PositiveCreep</b> - the 12/05/2012 at 5:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:55pm<b>talun</b> - the 12/17/2010 at 9:02am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 11:51pm<b>ily1210</b> - the 01/24/2010 at 2:58pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 5:08pm<b>Aha09</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 8:58pm<b>luvuall</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 7:55pm<b>Fminetoo</b> - the 01/09/2010 at 12:37pm<b>irony_08</b> - the 01/06/2010 at 2:42pm<b>Getchooahhaa</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 3:00pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/07/2009 at 4:58pm

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dnlphm94's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52595) - you deserved it (8812)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (64474)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46586) - you deserved it (2306)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

#2482852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48371) - you deserved it (7678)

On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

#1952694
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8462) - you deserved it (65598)

On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by OuttaNowhere81 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML

#1339602
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44330) - you deserved it (15983)

On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - animals - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49871) - you deserved it (34300)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML

#54872
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (4393)

On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)



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