Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dnlphm94

Search for a member

dnlphm94

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5070
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dnlphm94's page activity

Visits<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:05am<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:57pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 3:34am<b>FizzyPoison</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>MathiasMahBrony</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 9:53pm<b>PositiveCreep</b> - the 12/05/2012 at 5:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:55pm<b>talun</b> - the 12/17/2010 at 9:02am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 11:51pm<b>ily1210</b> - the 01/24/2010 at 2:58pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 5:08pm<b>Aha09</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 8:58pm<b>luvuall</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 7:55pm<b>Fminetoo</b> - the 01/09/2010 at 12:37pm<b>irony_08</b> - the 01/06/2010 at 2:42pm<b>Getchooahhaa</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 3:00pm

dnlphm94's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dnlphm94's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (12742)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9950) - you deserved it (32110)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26340) - you deserved it (22353)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

#12817288
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (12402)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told everyone I queef during sex. Even his parents are calling me "Cooter Pooter." FML

#12816242
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34108) - you deserved it (6289)

On 08/30/2010 at 2:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

#12513717
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7029) - you deserved it (43059)

On 08/14/2010 at 2:27am - health - by Fire_Crotch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39875) - you deserved it (3388)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

#7483362
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9577) - you deserved it (99622)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

#7454643
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (3899)

On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10513) - you deserved it (23697)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6943) - you deserved it (67001)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML

#5548309
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (6405)

On 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43347) - you deserved it (3273)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: