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dnlphm94

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dnlphm94

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4991
  • Number of comments : 68
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dnlphm94's page activity

Visits<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 6:22am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:57pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 3:34am<b>FizzyPoison</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 5:44pm<b>MathiasMahBrony</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 9:53pm<b>PositiveCreep</b> - the 12/05/2012 at 5:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:55pm<b>talun</b> - the 12/17/2010 at 9:02am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 02/01/2010 at 11:51pm<b>ily1210</b> - the 01/24/2010 at 2:58pm<b>jc21</b> - the 01/23/2010 at 5:08pm<b>Aha09</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 8:58pm<b>luvuall</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 7:55pm<b>Fminetoo</b> - the 01/09/2010 at 12:37pm<b>irony_08</b> - the 01/06/2010 at 2:42pm<b>Getchooahhaa</b> - the 01/03/2010 at 3:00pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 10/07/2009 at 4:58pm

dnlphm94's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dnlphm94's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized I get more pleasure from a tampon than my boyfriend I have been having sex with for the past six months. FML

#14856386
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32528) - you deserved it (6393)

On 02/05/2011 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (8021)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15592) - you deserved it (33214)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

#14851350
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27307) - you deserved it (4912)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:13am - health - by Screwed in Seattle - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47495) - you deserved it (8093)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML

#14788536
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (6671)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

#14644616
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (7619)

On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39993) - you deserved it (26526) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (8699)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28370) - you deserved it (7863)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (5430)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6902) - you deserved it (38834)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

#13418490
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45117) - you deserved it (8155)

On 10/12/2010 at 8:57am - intimacy - by fungettingdressed - United States

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16773) - you deserved it (38647)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML

#13241516
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (44610)

On 09/28/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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