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Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21973) - you totally deserved it (1743)
On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25494) - you totally deserved it (1913)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from a mobile version
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3990) - you totally deserved it (46808)
On 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm - love - by heartbroken (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you totally deserved it (2204)
On 01/20/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today at work I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5874) - you totally deserved it (12460)
On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lit some candles while waiting for my girlfriend to come over. I was trying to be romantic. Suddenly, I hear screaming from my bedroom. I run in thinking it was my girlfriend. Turns out my cat lit his whiskers on fire by sniffing the candles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you totally deserved it (3099)
On 12/06/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3321) - you totally deserved it (39531)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you totally deserved it (4028)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you totally deserved it (1685)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents who responded by saying “ Sex is beautiful thing.” When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself and smashed my laptop with a hammer and calling me "filthy" multiple times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36599) - you totally deserved it (4940)
On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, naked myself as it seemed convenient. He disapproved, proceeding to scratch my manparts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen manparts, and an 8" needle hole in my butt where I had to get antibiotics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9305) - you totally deserved it (41945)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34837) - you totally deserved it (1173)
On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you totally deserved it (4890)
On 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by rain (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5106) - you totally deserved it (40272)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by OuttaNowhere81 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33904) - you totally deserved it (9700)
On 04/25/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by poopedon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
