Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About dmeloccaro : I work a lot and like to enjoy my weekends. I drink sometimes and love to go anywhere outdoors that there is water. I love being around my family. I love animals. I have several tattoos and piercings. I love music, love love love. I like to hang out with my friends, and I like to get out of San Antonio as often as possible. I really enjoy going to concerts. Message if you want to know more I guess. I'm always down to make new internet friends, especially on a bad ass site like this one :D
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
Friday 22 May 2015