dmeloccaro

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dmeloccaro

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 August 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dmeloccaro : I work a lot and like to enjoy my weekends. I drink sometimes and love to go anywhere outdoors that there is water. I love being around my family. I love animals. I have several tattoos and piercings. I love music, love love love. I like to hang out with my friends, and I like to get out of San Antonio as often as possible. I really enjoy going to concerts. Message if you want to know more I guess. I'm always down to make new internet friends, especially on a bad ass site like this one :D

dmeloccaro's page activity

Visits<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 11:37am<b>illegal_love</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:05am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:31am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:31pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 1:20pm<b>itscare1217</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 8:36pm<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 4:52pm<b>funsized383</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 5:32pm<b>Ninjin1986</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 3:32pm<b>DanielT1994</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 3:19am<b>tylervu11170</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 2:55pm<b>venomousddog</b> - the 03/02/2012 at 11:07pm<b>xDefendPopPunkx</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 8:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>ilikepieandpie</b> - the 09/08/2011 at 6:57pm<b>Lenho</b> - the 09/05/2011 at 1:21pm<b>jakeshade11</b> - the 09/05/2011 at 11:18am<b>yoshi09</b> - the 09/04/2011 at 4:40pm

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dmeloccaro's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

by hotpatata / 07/06/2012 at 11:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2012 at 6:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 9:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML

by notanidiot / 06/20/2012 at 8:46am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 1:22am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

by theunborn / 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

by Shelby / 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

by anonymus / 05/26/2012 at 9:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation