Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dknight

Search for a member

dknight

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 April 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2147
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

dknight's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 12:45am<b>lmr322</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 8:05pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 6:30pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 1:45pm<b>Iris_Rusu</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 8:09am<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/19/2012 at 11:49pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/26/2011 at 3:22pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:50pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 07/11/2011 at 6:50pm<b>alimahlove</b> - the 05/08/2011 at 2:53pm<b>DayummAdriana</b> - the 09/05/2010 at 10:56pm<b>Ur_REmEdy</b> - the 09/03/2010 at 3:26am<b>Meggehx</b> - the 08/12/2010 at 1:18am<b>beany212</b> - the 07/11/2010 at 12:10am<b>emo_devon</b> - the 06/21/2010 at 12:27am<b>Tech_Sting</b> - the 05/14/2010 at 3:25pm<b>shaawty</b> - the 04/28/2010 at 4:10am<b>chloe666</b> - the 04/27/2010 at 11:11pm

dknight's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

#5424504
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35690) - you deserved it (8183)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:10am - love - by Riskreh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37910) - you deserved it (3945)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (15323)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (9323)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

#5123353
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38762) - you deserved it (18867)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:46am - love - by Charlie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11843) - you deserved it (71026)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by punching through a piece of old drywall karate kid-style. As it turns out, the drywall was actually a thin piece of concrete. I now have a busted hand and a girlfriend with a new story to tell all her friends. FML

#5059729
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6739) - you deserved it (45181)

On 09/05/2009 at 12:22pm - misc - by BadassNinja (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

#4781635
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (8314)

On 08/24/2009 at 10:22am - health - by AvengdSevenfold (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

#4774290
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28479) - you deserved it (17912)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML

#4744238
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (4039)

On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14747) - you deserved it (46082)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83688) - you deserved it (7274)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8849) - you deserved it (53365)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML

#4623862
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you deserved it (9027)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:47am - health - by Ahhwtf (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was home alone and I started to sing Halo by Beyonce. I was starting to get into it and began singing with more passion until the phone rang. It was my neighbor begging me to please shut the hell up. FML

#4582506
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14338) - you deserved it (38148)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:00pm - misc - by Ricky (man) - United States (Arkansas)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: