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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dknight

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dknight
  • Town/Country : Florida, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 April 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1181
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dknight's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

#7165792 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (9315)

On 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm - love - by leigh2812 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815 (44)

I agree, your life sucks (4637) - you deserved it (19758)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (7673)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302 (229)

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (3107)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML

#5875865 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (4887)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML

#5875501 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (1405)

On 10/18/2009 at 5:28am - health - by nimrod23 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

#5865108 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (3440)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML

#5865096 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (6056) - you deserved it (27655)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:25pm - love - by Ohgreat (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

#5853420 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (6897) - you deserved it (31186)

On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5380) - you deserved it (69155)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

#5793499 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (23382) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/12/2009 at 9:21am - money - by Dora (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

#5759399 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (27717) - you deserved it (3775)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a nervous breakdown. My life has been going down the drain and I called my boyfriend for comfort. I was crying my eyes out, finally getting everything off of my chest that has been bothering me. I thought it was quiet because he was listening closely. I was wrong. He fell asleep. FML

#5424504 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (28389) - you deserved it (6276)

On 09/23/2009 at 7:10am - love - by Riskreh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (30253) - you deserved it (2840)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)