djxerxes9000

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djxerxes9000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1002
  • Number of comments : 226
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About djxerxes9000 : If you're reading this I hope it's because I've offended you.

djxerxes9000's page activity

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djxerxes9000's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of djxerxes9000's badges

djxerxes9000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

by dancekat / 04/08/2013 at 5:17am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

by djxerxes9000 / 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm / Canada / Work

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

by thoughtidseenitall / 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health

Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML

by jazz / 01/22/2010 at 3:11am / Kids