This member hasn't filled in the description.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26727) - you deserved it (3216)
On 11/14/2011 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (5665)
On 07/22/2011 at 6:51am - kids - by TKDConnor92 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11318) - you deserved it (31783)
On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32635) - you deserved it (4785)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (5802)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25499) - you deserved it (3982)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24566) - you deserved it (4471)
On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (6379)
On 06/08/2011 at 2:55am - love - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (4161)
On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20990) - you deserved it (6657)
On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42198) - you deserved it (4476)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36750) - you deserved it (6961)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (2481)
On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16676) - you deserved it (2160)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (2168)
On 12/27/2010 at 6:29am - kids - by DeadDude -
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
