djcaper

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Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 1:01pm)

djcaper

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1268
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djcaper's page activity

Visits<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:14pm<b>stephinie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:36pm<b>LLIIAAMM</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:16am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:08pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 10:06pm<b>thatsdndn1</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 8:51pm<b>zombieladi</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:27am<b>baba01</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:00am<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:00am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:06pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:11pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:11am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:22am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 8:54pm<b>bvcx222</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 7:57am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 7:39pm

djcaper's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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djcaper's favorite FMLs

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

by Hugh_Jankles / 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was setting up comcast cable boxes for my house. I had the packaging everywhere when I finished. Looking admirably at my job, I backed out my door, and stepped on bubble wrap, scaring myself. I flailed, fell, reached out, grabbing one of the cable wires. I pulled the cable box and my modem off. FML

by cmilla / 01/02/2010 at 4:18am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

by justin_99 / 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

by dam01 / 08/02/2009 at 3:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

by MC / 05/14/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Work