djcaper

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 1:01pm)

djcaper

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1211
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

djcaper's page activity

Visits<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:14pm<b>stephinie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:36pm<b>LLIIAAMM</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:16am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:08pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 10:06pm<b>thatsdndn1</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 8:51pm<b>zombieladi</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:27am<b>baba01</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:00am<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:00am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:06pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:11pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:11am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:22am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 8:54pm<b>bvcx222</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 7:57am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 7:39pm

djcaper's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of djcaper's badges

djcaper's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML

by lemonhead / 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm / Health

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML

by greenchan / 02/25/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 2:14am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

by XxMe123xx / 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm / Intimacy

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

by MyFaceHurts / 08/03/2010 at 6:40am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML

by ShayisPay101 / 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

by Username / 01/27/2010 at 3:35am / Transportation

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

by Dr_Dolittle / 01/12/2010 at 10:27am / United Kingdom (Merseyside) / Kids