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djcaper

Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 3:50am) | Search for a member

djcaper

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 623
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djcaper's page activity

Visits<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:14pm<b>stephinie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:36pm<b>LLIIAAMM</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am<b>moksha</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 1:19am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:16am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:08pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 10:06pm<b>thatsdndn1</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 8:51pm<b>zombieladi</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:27am<b>baba01</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:00am<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:00am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:06pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:11pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:11am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:22am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 8:54pm<b>bvcx222</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 7:57am

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djcaper's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14603) - you deserved it (31223)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (45310)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62459) - you deserved it (4623)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11255) - you deserved it (38051)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9958) - you deserved it (59030)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you deserved it (37091)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (3501)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44898) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32977) - you deserved it (10804)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

#17948173
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27291) - you deserved it (2196)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:30pm - work - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47336) - you deserved it (7307)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25127) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (5756)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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