djcaper

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Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 1:01pm)

djcaper

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1385
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djcaper's page activity

Visits<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:14pm<b>stephinie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:36pm<b>LLIIAAMM</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:16am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:08pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 10:06pm<b>thatsdndn1</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 8:51pm<b>zombieladi</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:27am<b>baba01</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:00am<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:00am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:06pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:11pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:11am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:22am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 8:54pm<b>bvcx222</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 7:57am<b>billyz77</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 7:39pm

djcaper's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

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Mobility

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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djcaper's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

by daniella101 / 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

by LogicalMolly / 12/13/2011 at 12:16am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

by journey_Jeanne / 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

by sparklethelette / 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

by trembelwick / 12/03/2011 at 5:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health