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djcaper

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 4:06pm) | Search for a member

djcaper

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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djcaper's page activity

Visits<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 8:10am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:14pm<b>stephinie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:36pm<b>LLIIAAMM</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 1:52am<b>moksha</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 1:19am<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 12:16am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 1:08pm<b>Ebola</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 10:06pm<b>thatsdndn1</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 8:51pm<b>zombieladi</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:27am<b>baba01</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:00am<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 5:00am<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 11:06pm<b>lec17</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 7:11pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 9:11am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 7:22am<b>Trollx</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 8:54pm<b>bvcx222</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 7:57am

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djcaper's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60460) - you deserved it (9138)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (3187)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34222) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14773) - you deserved it (38427)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41361) - you deserved it (3062)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17152) - you deserved it (43633)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (4471)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12983) - you deserved it (41215)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22970) - you deserved it (3017)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33358) - you deserved it (5418)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11902) - you deserved it (56261)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34299) - you deserved it (6021)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

#18242868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (4165)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (7333)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States



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