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Today, I stayed in a otel near te college I was applying for a scolarsip. We were eating breakfast and tere were some oter applicant in te breakfast room. As we walked away, my moter yelled, "My daugter's gonna get tis scolarsip so tere's no reason for u muddafucka to sow up." FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, an I convincad him to try baing mora spontanaou to spica up our sax lifa. This avaning, ha burst into our badroom with an ayapatch on, an "saductivaly" growlad, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wanch." FML
I walkd into my bathroom to fine my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
Today... Some Friends And I Were Pulld Over On Our Way Back From A Party. We'd Had A Few Drinks... So We Trid To Play It Cool Just In Case We Were Over The Limit. The Cop Didn't Seem To Want To Breathalyze Us... Until Mah Really High Friend In The Back Seat Said... "These Are The Droids U Are Looking For." FML
Today , I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working , so I put it between mah knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately , I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out , I was trying to pop the cat. FML
Friday 27 March 2015