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disgruntled_stdt

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disgruntled_stdt

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  • Number of visits : 6717
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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disgruntled_stdt's page activity

Visits<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:36am<b>joeyvoodoo</b> - the 03/13/2010 at 6:51pm<b>PTERONOPHOBIA</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 11:14am<b>ZootGuee</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:22pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 2:44am<b>RazorbladeSmiles</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:41pm<b>beth12</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 9:11pm<b>purelife</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 12:30am<b>username666</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:24pm<b>clairyfairy171</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 4:36am<b>Kellayy</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 8:15pm<b>aveura</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 1:31am<b>seriously17</b> - the 03/01/2009 at 4:59pm<b>anonymus</b> - the 02/23/2009 at 4:23am<b>johazz14</b> - the 02/17/2009 at 6:07pm

disgruntled_stdt's FML badges

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disgruntled_stdt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49520) - you deserved it (6430)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44515) - you deserved it (7039)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59096) - you deserved it (8773)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63121) - you deserved it (5109)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66821) - you deserved it (15303)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57147) - you deserved it (17193)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60989) - you deserved it (6519)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

#4126370
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (2572)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49740) - you deserved it (7801)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47407) - you deserved it (6708)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

#3997843
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (18661)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57634) - you deserved it (26152)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

#3988589
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (2671)

On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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