disgruntled_stdt

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disgruntled_stdt

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7168
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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disgruntled_stdt's page activity

Visits<b>Tunnus</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:40am<b>Palindromesque</b> - the 03/10/2013 at 6:36am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:51am<b>joeyvoodoo</b> - the 03/13/2010 at 6:51pm<b>PTERONOPHOBIA</b> - the 07/07/2009 at 11:14am<b>ZootGuee</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 9:22pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 2:44am<b>RazorbladeSmiles</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 7:41pm<b>beth12</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 9:11pm<b>purelife</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 12:30am<b>username666</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:24pm<b>clairyfairy171</b> - the 03/30/2009 at 4:36am<b>Kellayy</b> - the 03/21/2009 at 8:15pm<b>aveura</b> - the 03/17/2009 at 1:31am<b>seriously17</b> - the 03/01/2009 at 4:59pm<b>anonymus</b> - the 02/23/2009 at 4:23am<b>johazz14</b> - the 02/17/2009 at 6:07pm

disgruntled_stdt's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

disgruntled_stdt's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

by piratequeen / 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Mississippi) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

by arsenic660 / 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

by Beefballs / 07/29/2009 at 2:22am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

by notsexy / 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

by jcooh0lla / 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

by Ella / 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

by pleaseno / 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Love