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discosoup

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discosoup
  • Town/Country : Portland, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 3391
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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discosoup's favorite FMLs

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

#7404915
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31637) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6845) - you deserved it (63442)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

#6995893
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35450) - you deserved it (2217)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm - money - by Butter_Cup - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious talk. He told me that I was a quick-tempered emotional train wreck. He then said, "You know how we talked about getting married? Now the only way I'd marry you was if hell froze over." He smiled, gave me a kiss, and went to bed. FML

#6738279
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (5544)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:56pm - love - by Trainwreck (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

#6449433
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33881) - you deserved it (4353)

On 11/25/2009 at 5:39pm - love - by CombatShadow45 - United States (Florida)

Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML

#5788533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (1866)

On 10/12/2009 at 12:16am - work - by selfdefense - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47945) - you deserved it (24210)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

#5730888
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33778) - you deserved it (2925)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

#5627700
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (1911)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by juliasaman - United States (Washington)

Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML

#5616852
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (1952)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML

#5416857
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53402) - you deserved it (4135)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by carnivore (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

#5412403
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9325) - you deserved it (46319)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39116) - you deserved it (2177)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (75855)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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