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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dirtysocks

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dirtysocks
  • Town/Country : Oslo, Norway
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 April 1987 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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dirtysocks's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22771) - you deserved it (6360)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (26323) - you deserved it (2680)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

#5993337 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (2440)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm - love - by Kin (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (67410) - you deserved it (9582)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML

#5757165 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (4926) - you deserved it (45406)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by horniness (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

#5515193 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (3435)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

#5505995 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (39770) - you deserved it (1401)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by stalker (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

#5098537 (321)

I agree, your life sucks (54587) - you deserved it (4295)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by BoredRunner42 - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that i had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (7410) - you deserved it (47378)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (607)

I agree, your life sucks (87648) - you deserved it (18472)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom about when I have kids. I told her I may want two or three. She immediately cut me off and told me to stick to one, and that any more than that will be a burden. I am the second born child of my family. FML

#5035693 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (30048) - you deserved it (2265)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by pandabear93 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

#5006277 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (11459) - you deserved it (27178)

On 09/02/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by ooops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (13065)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to work and got in the elevator. I was going through my bag for my phone and asked the man in the elevator to push the button for me. He gave me a look of death before I realized he had no arms. FML

#4995727 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (32389) - you deserved it (8913)

On 09/02/2009 at 9:01am - work - by elevatorjerk - United States

Today, my boss rang me for the 5th time on my day off. Frustrated I pushed 'ignore' and yelled a string of obscenities at my phone. Turns out I pushed 'talk'. FML

#4994596 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (8376) - you deserved it (32169)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)



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