About dirty_harry_007 : There are no stupid questions.... just stupid people.
dirty_harry_007's FML badges
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
dirty_harry_007's favorite FMLs
by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy
Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML
by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
by all5fingers / 09/08/2011 at 1:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
by slavelaborsux / 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love
Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
by gross / 07/14/2011 at 9:09pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
by Evan Chong / 07/13/2011 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Nice 2 inch / 06/27/2011 at 8:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kaplwv116 / 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
by Anonyme / 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
by unknown / 06/15/2011 at 6:20am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
by woodchuck0022 / 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
by Hahapasdroleleptit / 05/10/2011 at 10:56am / France / Kids
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.…