About dirty_harry_007 : There are no stupid questions.... just stupid people.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (6229)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25223) - you deserved it (3745)
On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13260) - you deserved it (8984)
On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18614) - you deserved it (1932)
On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (2449)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (4574)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34272) - you deserved it (4134)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I was playing my guitar outside my apartment building, and some people had put some money in my guitar case. One guy threw in what I thought was a crumpled piece of paper or something. It was actually a used condom. It leaked all over the money and my case. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35290) - you deserved it (4008)
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2851)
On 07/13/2011 at 10:48am - misc - by Evan Chong - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (2400)
On 06/27/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by Nice 2 inch - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19611) - you deserved it (31213)
On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8082) - you deserved it (30019) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm - love - by Anonyme - Switzerland (Fribourg)
Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (7554)
On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (18703)
On 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by woodchuck0022 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (4225) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/10/2011 at 10:56am - kids - by Hahapasdroleleptit - France
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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