About dirty_harry_007 : There are no stupid questions.... just stupid people.
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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
dirty_harry_007's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals
by Jessica / 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love
Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work
by wowthatwould / 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
by Annon / 11/26/2011 at 6:38am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML
by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, as an overprotective mother, I asked my 19 year-old son, who was going to spend his day on… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…