Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dirty_harry_007

Search for a member

dirty_harry_007

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1243
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About dirty_harry_007 : There are no stupid questions.... just stupid people.

dirty_harry_007's page activity

Visits<b>Toby13</b> - the 04/24/2012 at 12:00am

dirty_harry_007's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of dirty_harry_007's badges

dirty_harry_007's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (3094)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

#19937636
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5411) - you deserved it (47590)

On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

#19913255
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25991) - you deserved it (3554)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:31am - kids - by LNamesOnly (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

#19901144
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (6720)

On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

#19881083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (1656)

On 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm - health - by justhelpful (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, I caught my stylist in the mirror attempting to get his colleague to laugh by spitting on my head while washing my hair. FML

#19858220
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29364) - you deserved it (1732) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm - misc - by MonCoiffeurAdoré -

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12135) - you deserved it (25790)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML

#19703850
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16095) - you deserved it (4332)

On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (8652)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36056) - you deserved it (8876)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (8273)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (17309)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23094) - you deserved it (3592)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

#19443531
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (6404)

On 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm - work - by rescuetheduck (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a serious conversation about our future. Somehow it turned into a 10-minute discussion about what time of day we usually take a crap. FML

#19440866
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19299) - you deserved it (5108)

On 04/10/2012 at 12:41am - love - by kellie1115 - United States (West Virginia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: