About dinkibus : My cat is a master of Kung Fu
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9227) - you deserved it (28812)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5390) - you deserved it (45362)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (6574)
On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (2441)
On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (2904)
On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (2991)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13195) - you deserved it (2320)
On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (1573)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56410) - you deserved it (3656)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97) - you deserved it (2494)
On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (5063)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60111) - you deserved it (13173)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (570264)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81633) - you deserved it (11267)
On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307262) - you deserved it (40943)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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