About dinkibus : My cat is a master of Kung Fu
50 favourites
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30992) - you deserved it (2420)
On 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by HM (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)
Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31276) - you deserved it (15959)
On 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by lynn777 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8777) - you deserved it (29909)
On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47506) - you deserved it (21371)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (6420)
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30556) - you deserved it (2567)
On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40048) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12325) - you deserved it (46749)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12179) - you deserved it (25358)
On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, was my first day at a new job. I was really pleased with how much positive attention I was getting in a mainly male office. Guess whose shirt was see-through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (27110)
On 01/24/2011 at 2:18pm - work - by oooops (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (5005)
On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (5452) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (5123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Monday 20 May 2013
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