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dinkibus

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dinkibus
  • Town/Country : in the middle of, CANADA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 August 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About dinkibus : My cat is a master of Kung Fu

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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dinkibus's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17348) - you deserved it (40474)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42226) - you deserved it (8780)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my brother wearing nothing but underwear. That would have been okay if it weren't my lingerie. FML

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

#20887990
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37828) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/19/2013 at 5:18pm - kids - by Smoothskin (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47576) - you deserved it (4356)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37222) - you deserved it (15975)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54011) - you deserved it (3294)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40117) - you deserved it (5126)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43815) - you deserved it (2650)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
507 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (123220)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51690) - you deserved it (5344)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21283) - you deserved it (62749)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I finally received the bicycle I ordered months ago. It was an expensive custom-made bike which perfectly fit my 6'9" frame. Today, that bike got stolen. FML

#20859064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42390) - you deserved it (3487)

On 08/29/2013 at 9:40am - misc - by tallguy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39403) - you deserved it (8524)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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