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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dill91

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dill91
  • Town/Country : Spring, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 20369
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About dill91 : I'm an 18 year old aggie :)

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dill91's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (37585) - you deserved it (8459)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML

#2158517 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (8314)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

#2116644 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (53415) - you deserved it (2428)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (35366) - you deserved it (9787)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481 (438)

I agree, your life sucks (22839) - you deserved it (99486)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

#1964368 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (28888) - you deserved it (2957)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by dammitall (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (12468) - you deserved it (69679)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (60598) - you deserved it (3312)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (547)

I agree, your life sucks (15584) - you deserved it (84146)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

#1490336 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (10032) - you deserved it (67846)

On 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm - kids - by Nanny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

#1454784 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (56301) - you deserved it (3507)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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