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dijafe27

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dijafe27

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 526
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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dijafe27's page activity

Visits<b>freakyfriday101</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 10:55pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 7:01am<b>clevopride_</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 3:15pm<b>aschorzman</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 4:26pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 10/11/2012 at 5:28pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 3:42pm

dijafe27's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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dijafe27's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (2527)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML

#20027750
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (1774)

On 08/18/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by sneaky1324 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24215) - you deserved it (2478)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (7876)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

#20020595
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26010) - you deserved it (1621)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (10250)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14809) - you deserved it (38489)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22590) - you deserved it (2897)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (5928)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (3420)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (5779)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9411) - you deserved it (29532)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

#20005989
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30389) - you deserved it (3746)

On 08/06/2012 at 3:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35386) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States



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