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Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39438) - you deserved it (9038)
On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (4568)
On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (3418)
On 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by crazystar69 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17729) - you deserved it (12028)
On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (2976)
On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (9778)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (13509)
On 11/30/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was playing with my four month old daughter, flying her in the air like an airplane. I open my mouth saying 'Weeee', and she vomited on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (12725)
Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23732) - you deserved it (5119)
On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38107) - you deserved it (9053)
On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I got back from a two week holiday only to discover my dog missing. After looking for him at animal shelters and putting up missing pet signs, my room mate admitted he lost him in a game of drunk poker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32966) - you deserved it (2674)
On 08/20/2010 at 6:03pm - animals - by therealducktape - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (7696)
On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16689) - you deserved it (30194)
On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17298) - you deserved it (2913)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22638) - you deserved it (5206)
On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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