diesel1226

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diesel1226

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 553
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About diesel1226 : Not a single fuck is, was or ever will be given.

diesel1226's page activity

Visits<b>Bustedbutsilent</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Remembered</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 2:42am<b>kentheman</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 7:31am<b>ingram450</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:21am<b>SadMansSandwich</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:09pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 02/11/2012 at 8:58pm<b>Xcherrypie</b> - the 01/30/2012 at 2:09pm

diesel1226's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

diesel1226's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

by soupisyummy / 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

by BoringFucker / 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Animals

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

by dreefsa / 02/05/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

by dragonmirado / 01/25/2012 at 1:23am / China / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

by thiswouldhappen. / 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

by frankrizzo / 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous