Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

diesel1226

Search for a member

diesel1226

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About diesel1226 : Not a single fuck is, was or ever will be given.

diesel1226's page activity

Visits<b>Remembered</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 2:42am<b>kentheman</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 7:31am<b>ingram450</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 1:21am<b>SadMansSandwich</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 6:09pm<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 02/11/2012 at 8:58pm<b>Xcherrypie</b> - the 01/30/2012 at 2:09pm

diesel1226's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

diesel1226's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (73838)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

#19048946
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (3921)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by soupisyummy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (4232)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33684) - you deserved it (6959)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML

#13974897
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32972) - you deserved it (21516)

On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35726) - you deserved it (20887)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

#5525122
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38293) - you deserved it (3151)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45856) - you deserved it (240326)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (7568)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: