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diegomanguelo's FML badges
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diegomanguelo's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
by danii / 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/25/2011 at 4:39pm / Switzerland (Vaud) / Miscellaneous
by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML
by racist / 10/15/2010 at 2:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
by Catois / 03/05/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…