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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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dieburnbot

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dieburnbot
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 394
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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dieburnbot's favorite FMLs

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

#6160580 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (3626) - you deserved it (16743)

On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

#6157147 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (5833)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by raebay (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

#6134819 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (24451) - you deserved it (1321)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by wrongcar - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (33775) - you deserved it (4323)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML

#5921538 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (4350) - you deserved it (35493)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)