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diaspora

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diaspora
  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 587
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (5390)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10782) - you deserved it (25896)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (6893)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21464) - you deserved it (2113)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5693) - you deserved it (42458)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7646) - you deserved it (21779)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20743) - you deserved it (2032)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5673) - you deserved it (76940)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (24803) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38470) - you deserved it (3667)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (2347)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10765) - you deserved it (39139)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29108) - you deserved it (4828)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28105) - you deserved it (6860)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML

#14091137
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28666) - you deserved it (7621)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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