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diaspora's favorite FMLs
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Renagirl / 09/09/2013 at 8:46am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Parental Support / 08/30/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 10:29am / United States / Love
by sirradel / 08/19/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML
by anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 10:05am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML
by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work
Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML
by seizure_girl / 08/15/2013 at 9:32am / United States (South Dakota) / Health
Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm / United States / Work
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of… Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday,…