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diaspora

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

diaspora

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2126
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's page activity

Visits<b>caaxo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:37am<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:19pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>disgruntledfox</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:13pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:55am<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:53am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:00am<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:04pm

diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48433) - you deserved it (7964)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (3683)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55517) - you deserved it (4674)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50369) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (24794)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend said she wanted to get a little crazy and try some role-play. "Act like you don't want it," she said. Without thinking, I replied, "Well, that should be easy." FML

#20790896
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (50984)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while visiting my grandparents, I used one of their blankets to keep warm. Later, I saw their dog getting busy with said blanket. When my grandparents saw my look of horror, they explained that he has "sexual relations" with the blanket every night. Thanks for telling me, guys. FML

#20788038
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (3857)

On 07/17/2013 at 7:56am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (66777)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76572) - you deserved it (17369)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40987) - you deserved it (5154)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44163) - you deserved it (12816)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68308) - you deserved it (19341)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64269) - you deserved it (5160)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45703) - you deserved it (5931)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43454) - you deserved it (3664)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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