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diaspora

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diaspora

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  • Number of visits : 1247
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:00am<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:33pm<b>buonotomato</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:32pm<b>trent41286</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:26pm<b>fmluser3250</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Adula</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 3:52pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 5:53am<b>2ophiia</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:25am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:57pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 2:04pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:23pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51563) - you deserved it (6252)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37099) - you deserved it (17841)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41876) - you deserved it (15709)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (50899) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36512) - you deserved it (6676)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57517) - you deserved it (10887)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (6697)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

#20481338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss put me on suspension, a week after granting a subordinate time off to recover from surgery. When I signed the paperwork, I was too embarrassed to admit I didn't understand her writing, which apparently said she was getting treated for "dangerously low levels of dick". FML

#20434482
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9532) - you deserved it (21621)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by offtothejobcentre (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him why he was with me. His answer was, "Well, the last girl I dated was really smart and she always made me feel dumb, so I decided to switch things up a bit. You make me feel like a genius babe." FML

#20417781
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (7173)

On 12/24/2012 at 12:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39174) - you deserved it (7199)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (3316)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11498) - you deserved it (23900)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32007) - you deserved it (8121)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40091) - you deserved it (1828)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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