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diaspora's favorite FMLs
by Jae_Hellyun / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States / Love
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML
by neta_1996 / 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
by Andrew / 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous
by The_Rest_of_the_Story / 12/14/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Crystal_Nicole / 12/14/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Kansas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm / Luxembourg / Work
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy
by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love
by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
- Today, my vegan friend, not knowing that I'm allergic to soy, snuck tofu into my chicken burrito to… Today, I met the girl I've always wanted. She's cute, adorable, nice, and we have a lot in common.… Today, I asked my husband of 15 years to get a vasectomy, as he's said for the past 13 we are done…