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Offline (the 11/25/2015 at 3:04pm)



  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3777
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's page activity

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diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of diaspora's badges

diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend sent me a link to a Vine video in which she dumped me. FML

by Jae_Hellyun / 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm / United States / Love

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML

by neta_1996 / 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

by Andrew / 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

by The_Rest_of_the_Story / 12/14/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

by Crystal_Nicole / 12/14/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm / Luxembourg / Work

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

by fuckadaisical / 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

by kittyboo_is_me / 11/19/2013 at 1:59am / Slovenia (Maribor) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 5:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love