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diaspora's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by boobear511 / 11/02/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML
by ~~~ / 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML
by charitableidiot / 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by CorCelesti / 06/02/2014 at 10:00am / United States / Love
Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by angelamegan21 / 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML
by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…