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diaspora's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by boobear511 / 11/02/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm / United States (Nevada) / Love
Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML
by ~~~ / 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm / Australia (South Australia) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I went to a fancy charity dinner. I'm a schmoozer, so I decided to introduce myself to someone important. I asked enthusiastically, "So, how are you involved with all of this madness?" He frowned at me. I then remembered that this particular charity assists people with mental issues. FML
by charitableidiot / 06/05/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by CorCelesti / 06/02/2014 at 10:00am / United States / Love
Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML
by Anonymous / 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by angelamegan21 / 05/28/2014 at 4:33pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love
by whoops / 05/25/2014 at 5:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by dieana / 05/16/2014 at 8:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML
by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
- Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled,… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…