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diaspora

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diaspora

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  • Number of visits : 1246
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:00am<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:04pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:33pm<b>buonotomato</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 7:32pm<b>trent41286</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:26pm<b>fmluser3250</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 10:02pm<b>ThomasBombadil</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Adula</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 3:52pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 5:53am<b>2ophiia</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:25am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 6:57pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 2:04pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:58pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:23pm

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36652) - you deserved it (5948)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (4870)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41214) - you deserved it (7765)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48037) - you deserved it (9562)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39443) - you deserved it (3991)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36943) - you deserved it (14746)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39967) - you deserved it (3009)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

#21075644
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47238) - you deserved it (6686)

On 03/02/2014 at 3:44am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42883) - you deserved it (5446)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (6283)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

#21068134
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50726) - you deserved it (9292)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:39am - intimacy - by awkward (man) - United States

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34480) - you deserved it (5271)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52571) - you deserved it (7842)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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